Giving "Me" for Having Been Given Much

My adventure began July 1st, 2011 at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport where my travel companions were only the feelings of simultaneous excitement and peace. 

Excitement (left) Peace (right)
Really, Chete (left) and Chundu (left)

Goodbye demand for modern technology and the communication anchors that tether us to one another on an almost assumed basis.  Once upon a time we dialed a number days in a row, each time reaching a busy signal or the call going unanswered, yet it was understood that we may not reach a person for an extended duration and it was OK.  When the answering machine came about people expected a return call within a week.  Call waiting placed more expectation on the call recipient to at least answer the call.  Cell phones created a demand for immediate access to a person, if not--at the very least--within 24 hours.  I find myself feeling "over-connected" to communication via technology and "under-connected" in more tangible ways of connection--so over-connected than I intentionally "non-connect."  To my friends reading this who don't receive calls back in multiple days, know that I sometimes just don't check my voicemail for a while.  Sometimes I just don't check my Facebook inbox while I check the wall for the easier accessible snippets.  Email is a great way to reach me, but if you want an in-depth status update I would much prefer to speak to a voice, or better yet, an in person catch-up over hot chocolate or ice cream. 

Recognizing the feeling of being over-stretched in many ways to the point of wanting to shut off my phone, email, social profiles and Internet all together, I knew I had started to let one of the best parts of me take a backseat to keeping up and trying to prove myself.  The best part of me, in my opinion, is the part of me that's given away.

In a quest to return back to me for me and my little Daniel, I have to thank my family and caring friends who have so lovingly expressed their encouragement and support.  Someone dear told me last fall that my entrenchment in work, trying to be super-mom, and devotion of every spare moment to proving my worth to outsiders was breaking me down mentally and physically.  He encouraged me to go back to doing the things I have always loved to do but pushed to the side to focus on the things I NEEDED to do.  Those things were singing, writing songs, drawing, creating storybook adventures, and giving of myself to others. 

Taking this person's advice I looked into volunteer opportunities outside of the US where I could justify a full removal from expectation.  Missing the volunteer work at the Reece Center for Handicapped Horsemanship where I started volunteering as part of my psychology field research in 2002 while at CSU, I knew I wanted to volunteer with animals and children.  Given my Latino heritage I wanted to find a program in South or Central America.  Going to Chile (my mother's birthplace) was not an option since the weather is simply far too cold this time of year.  Guatemala was the first choice on my list through an LDS organization for young single adults, but I was placed on a waiting list and informed I would receive a acceptance a few weeks prior to the project if a spot opened up.  Needing to plan my trip far in advance to notify work, to make child care and dog sitting arrangements, to secure substitute teachers for the 9-10 yr old class I teach at church, and to sort out many other moving pieces, I scoured the Internet for alternative volunteer programs. 

Having always had a deep love for large cats (my first major in college was pre-veterinary medicine and I wanted to transfer to Texas A&M or UGA to specialize in exotic cats and horses), having the Leo as my horoscope, and always having wanted to have done a photo shoot with lions, placement into a volunteer program through African Impact at a lion breeding center in Zimbabwe and teaching conservation in schools hit the bulls-eye. I had hoped to go to Africa last December over Christmas to either tour Egypt with Daniel or to go on a Safari in Kenya, but plans shifted due to some unexpected massive expenses which worked out in the end to be a great blessing. As tour buses collided in Egypt, killing several en route to where Daniel and I would have been headed, my daddy asked me "weren't you supposed to be there right now?"  There can be positive in anything as I have learned from my parents and siblings who have provided me with ample learning and observation opportunities. 

After a little homework I applied for the program and casually mentioned to my mom that I may miss her and my birthday this year as I planned to be in Africa.  That didn't fly.  Fortunately for mom the later program was overbooked and I book a program for the beginning of July.  This time I missed my daddy's, niece Victoria's and nephew Sebastian's birthday (oh, and our great country's birthday too, Independence Day for our wonderful USA).

Moving past the background of WHY I decided to go on a conservationist and humanitarian trip, please allow me to go into the WHAT OF the trip and the WHAT FROM the trip...

My new journal, compliments of an amazing man who thoughtfully surprised me with it just before my departure, captured over 60 pages of thoughts, notes, and reflection throughout the trip from Atlanta to London at Tower Bridge and the British Underground Tube to Jo-berg South Africa, into Zimbabwe, and back for still more impacting experiences.  Abridging those pages into one blog post and still capturing all the main elements and sharing tidbits is an almost daunting task.  First, I doubt anyone really wants to read about my fascination with the construction of the Tower Bridge over Thames River or what it literally felt like to chop up a dead zebra; second, I may be a little TOO candid in my own journal entries--which some candid remarks may not go over so well with all; third, I just don't want to transcribe all the cursive into text on screen (that would take days).

To make this easier to visually digest, I will break down as much as I see fit into buckets below:


About the lions:

• Lions are now an endangered specie.  FIV, TB and poaching over the past 30 years have caused the number of wild lions to dwindle from over 200,000 in to less than 20,000.  FIV and TB appear to be the largest culprits with little research being done to test a cure (it is said that a treatment for FIV is available for domestic cats which share very similar DNA, but that it is unclear if any researchers have put time, efforts, or resources towards possible use on large and exotic cats)

• The lion rehabilitation and breeding program is designed in a 4 step process currently limited to 2 stages due to a massive lack of funding: 
• Stage 1: lions bred in captivity are walked in the bush with humans until 18-24 months
• Stage 2: based on research findings from bush walks pertaining to hunting skills, sociability, and inter-lion dominance lions are grouped into prides and put in line to be released into 500 acres enclosures filled with wild game yet without natural predators (hyenas, cheetah, etc).  This stage only has one pride released as funding for fencing and required game runs about $800,000 per pride.  Currently ~70 lions are in small pens awaiting funding so they can be released into a more natural environment. Other lions on site now retired from the breeding program or know to have a strain of FIV are now secluded and confined to their chain link fences for the duration of their lives... unless they can be adopted out... this is where I would love to adopt a retired breeding lion and bring her back to the states to live out the remainder of her life on more than a 1/8 acre plot eating scraps and desperately wanting to extend her legs into a run again.
• Stage 3: lions successful in stage 2 (based on researcher observations) and all cubs born into stage 2 are placed into a 5,000 acre enclosure with other prides and natural predators are introduced (this stage does not currently exist as the program lacks funding to put up fencing)
• Stage 4: cubs born into stage 2 and stage 3 are released into the wild in Zimbabwe, Botswana, Zambia, and other locations where governments allow
• DUE to the major funding deficit, some attribution to the government for stalling signatures for lion export to other stage 2 locations, and (what I can only speculate as) possible greedy business management placing more funding into business pockets rather than non-profit efforts, many lions are stuck in very unnatural living conditions with 10 or more MALE lions being forced to live in a small enclosure together surviving of lower quality meats and chicken feet. :(  The Vic Falls center feeds their lions game meat (zebra, antelope, kudu, and whatever the hunters can bring in); whereas the Antelope Park (AP) location feeds sub par meat and refuse pieces leaving their lions less hearty and smaller in general stature.  Reps from AP claim if they had more funding or a boost in paid tourism at the private on-site resort then they could release a second stage 2 on site and could afford more appropriate food for their lions.
• The Victoria Falls program has 4 cubs:  Chete (10 month old female from South Africa), Chundu & Chisa (13 month old male cubs from Zimbabwe), Chobe (13 month femal cub sister to Chundu & Chisa.)  The Antelope Park Stage 2 and breeding location has over 96 lions.
• Chundu and Chisa (the brothers) are very sneaky cubs the guides often call "naughty"



Chete (left) Chundu (right)

• A lion's gestation period is 3.5 months and that each birth can range from 1-4 cubs with often only one surviving more than a month
• Male lions typically only stay head of a pride 2-3 years before being kicked out by a new male or being pushed out by the females
• One can differentiate cubs from adult lions by the spots on their bodies. Below are a couple 4 month old cubs at the Antelope Park facility


• Chundu's fur was so soft and exquisite! I found myself running my fingers through his fur any chance I could get near him--especially soft is the fur on the cub's underside!  Yep, that's a big cub below.  :)

• One of the guides/lion handlers said to me "You're the only one of THEM like ME." Another said "It's clear you love these animals."  The guides told me I have a crazy connection that people and animals just don't normally have.  I suppose I just feel comfortable with the energy I receive from their mere existence.  Such creatures have natural dominance balanced with respect and order.  I appreciate and connect with that. If I were an animal, I would be a lion. 

Hanging out with Chisa one morning after pulling ticks off his coat

Comparing paws

Interesting or deep thoughts and facts:

• My first encounter with a zebra in a non-zoo setting was with a dead zebra being unloaded from a hunters truck.  I proceeded to chop the zebra in pieces and fortified the pieces with vitamins for the lion cubs.


• US Independence Day is a day of pride and gratitude.  For many Zimbabweans, Independence Day is on the calendar only because it was printed in advance.  For me, my country's Independence allowed me to devote my time and myself to a country who's Independence means a lack of trusted government, a worthless 10,000 dollar bill, and no support from Great Britain to stabilize a tanked economy.
• Dairy products are hard to come by.  In Victoria Falls I never drank fresh milk.  Twice in Vic Falls I had powdered milk.  Once in Gweru I drank fresh, warm, unpasteurized milk... it was (almost) heavenly.  Perhaps attributed to taking anti-malarial tablets, I dreamed about pepper jack and muenster cheese on crackers.  I awoke disappointed and salivating for dairy.
• Biscuits at the camp were sugary versions of a Chick-Fil-A biscuit.  Each morning the cooks made biscuits I thought I was going to go into sugar shock with how sweet the bready things were.  I think I had 4-5 each time, opting out of the potatoes served with every meal.
• Baboons HATE women!  I thought Nathan, our program coordinator, was joking when he told us to watch out for baboons as the creatures despise women.  Walking through town one day my fellow Americans and our Israeli and Norwegian friends came across a huge group of baboons.  We stopped to watch the primates play and took pictures of the babies pestering their mothers.  Not long after snapping a few photos BIG DADDY baboon came around the corner and charged at us, ready to rip our throats out.  No joke.  A girl named Jenna was BIG DADDY'S target.  When BIG DADDY charged, so did the other baboons.  The locals thought it was hilarious that we ignorant foreigners got so close to the baboons and didn't realize baboons hated women.  Fact noted and categorized.
• Elephants charge at night.  Don't go walking alone at night in Vic Falls as elephants will spot you like on a radar screen and head straight for you.  Walk in groups and take flashlights (or as the British call them, headlamps).  Roads are broken up and the last thing you want to do is trip in a pot hole and wind up under elephant feet.
• On a trip where I where I thought the most beautiful picture I would take would be of the massive Victoria Falls (called one of the 7 natural wonders of the world) or perhaps a snap shot of two lions cuddling together, the most beautiful picture is one that only exists in my memory: a man named Gift reading a Book of Mormon over his lunch break, overlooking the African bush, wanting to learn anything and everything he could to help him better understand his existence and what is expected of him in life.  I was humbled by his humble nature.



• In the villages, families grind maize for hours each day to make enough Sudza (the local starch staple) for one meal.  I grumble if my Rachel Ray 30-minute meal takes more than 30 minutes to prepare. I've never had to grind my own wheat cornmeal.  I recently made pasta dough from scratch in a cooking class for fun, not necessity.  Paradigm shift.

• While I jumped up and down celebrating one hot shower outdoors in Gweru to my many cold showers back in Vic Falls, I had to shift again seeing children who pumped water for near an hour for enough water to carry in buckets on their heads or to push in carts (if they are lucky enough to have carts) back to their family hut for cooking and subsequent bathing.
• Tourism in Zimbabwe, though safe for foreigners and very welcoming  as your US dollar goes a LONG way, has declined from 3M visitors in 1996 to now ~300k. 
• Most tourists went to see Vic Falls and to raft the Mighty Zambezi River



Zambezi with the mist coming off the falls



View from the Vic Falls bridge where thrill seekers bunjee and bridge  swing



Zambezi River Sunset just after watching hippos frolic and play

• Zim (Zimbawe's nickname) has the HIGHEST inflation in the world at 1M%.  Yes, that's a one million percent inflation. 
• Coming from discussions with a few of my Zim friends, consensus is:  The more we succeed, the prouder we are.  Pride, in essence, is a bad thing.  Confidence and being well pleased is positive and enables a person to grow while in contrast pride blinds a person and disintegrates their being.
• My given African name is Ndra Madube.  Interpretation: Crazy Zebra.  Dube would be the surname totem for the husband, while Ma denotes surname totem for the wife.
• It is taboo for a tribe member to eat his totem.  My friend Clever Dube cannot eat Zebra as it is part of his totem, but my friends Gift and Sha could.  Monga's totem is a heart.  As such, Monga cannot eat the heart of any animal.  
• Fruit was not served as the cost is quite expensive since it is shipped from other countries. I did make it into town to purchase apples and two oranges which were positively exquisite, but I purchased the last orange the town would have until another shipment could make it in from California in the next week or so!  I found myself craving fresh berries and requested berries upon my return back to the states.  Gratefully, the man in my life did in fact have fresh berries waiting for me. :)
• I'm a self proclaimed carnivore and fruitivore, definitely not possibly an herbivore as it implies a love for vegetables... My sister is an herbivore, or as she calls it, a vegetarian, but I swear I could never willingly be a vegetarian.  Despite my disgust for stomaching veggies like carrots, broccoli and cauliflower, I found myself eating more vegetables with great distaste because, after all, circumstances were that kids are starving in Africa while I could barely clear my plate IN Africa. I felt guilty and poured peri-peri hot pepper sauce on every veggie in sight and followed the mouthfuls with meat.


• I rode an orphaned elephant named Tomba. An elephants stride is quite smooth and graceful, having a rocking movement that could easily lull a rider to sleep.  Simultaneously, the elephant can in one grab crush a person or topple a concrete wall.  Their trunks rip large branches off trees in one swift motion.  Their bodies plow through brick and concrete compound walls with ease.

• What squirrels are to us in the South, Fervet Monkeys are to Zimbabweans.  A fervet monkey (or two) kept a few of us up nights in a row while sleeping in the loft of a thatched roof lodge at Antelope Park.  The sound of monkey squawking and pattering feet above my head is a neat addition to my journal, but living with it must be unbearable! 
• Waking up to the sound of nearly 100 lions roaring in the morning is enough to give a person chills.  I laid in bed the mornings at Antelope Park (Gweru) grinning like a little kid on Christmas morning so excited while I listened to their roars. 
• I did finally encounter live zebra.  In fact, I rode a horse named Jacko in a herd of Zebra = super neat



• Giraffes can kick.  Watch out.

• I ate:
• Warthog
• Kudu
• Guinnea Fowl
• Antelope
• Crocodile
• Bream
• Ostrich
• Ox tail
• Buffalo
• Cow
• Sudza
• Lots of potatoes. Diced. Mashed. Baked. Fried. Peeled. Seasoned. Sliced. Wedged. You name it. 
• While educated guides can make between $50-$100 p/month, struggling to support their families, the Boma Restaurant still manages to charge a month's wages for a meal with an array of game meats that only foreigners or wealthier Zimbabweans can afford.




I played the drums at Boma along with the African performers for dinner and an interactive show.

• While teaching at a village school, I administered an exam to 9-10 year olds.  Some in the class were on #34 waiting for me to erase the board to write the remaining questions (there are no copiers to pass out exams) while others were stuck on #1 because they couldn't read the questions...  
• Some classes have teachers who haven't shown up in three weeks.
• Some kids walk to school 45 minutes without shoes HOPING they have a teacher that day because they want to learn.
• Some kids go to school to learn because they know they have AIDS or HIV and want to be smart before they die.
• Some kids skip breakfast when there is an English speaking teacher because they want to learn.  To them, knowledge is more filling than food.
• Some kids would trade food for a pen.
• Some kids at the orphanage don't get to sleep at the orphanage. There is no room at the orphanage. Find a place to sleep tonight and come back tomorrow during business hours...
• The orphanage serves food to all children 3x per week.

Dennis, the community volunteer program coordinator, writes my name on the board and that I am from from America.

Playing with kids at the orphanage

The BIG meal served on Saturdays at the orphanage.  Sudza an buffalo are served once per week.  There is not enough funding to feed the kids this well more often.

My Wishes:

• I wish every American high school required students to log a certain number of community service hours both in manual labor for the improvement of the community and service for community members
• I wish every 4-year university degree mandated a course on service and giving back to the community.  I wish schools would award credits for and encourage summer humanitarian or conservationist programs in lieu of other elective courses the students never use again.
• I wish there were incentives for young people to serve in the Peace Corp for 1-3 years.  The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sends out 19-25 year olds on 1.5-2 year service missions around the world where most of them have to learn foreign languages and all devote time towards serving others without compensation.  If every young adult was offered a tax incentive or tuition waiver at college for having served in the Peace Corp or in some humanitarian or Conservation effort, our future leaders would have great morals and a deeper appreciation for the blessings of progress in our lives. 
• I wish we could teach our world to SEE with their spiritual eyes. I wish we could teach people to EXPERIENCE the pain and struggles of others in their efforts to overcome the trials that burden them.  Through walking in another man's shoes we learn to love them and develop an understanding to dispel preconceived notions of inferiority or difference.
• I wish everyone could feel, the way I felt in their presence, the way God loves these people.  The Ndebele, Shona, and Tonga people, though poor, are such humble, compassionate, giving, welcoming people--a stark contrast to the self-professed "blessed followers" so prevalent in the world.  These people are more human than many of the self absorbed, proud, gluttonous "people" walking around in suits and ties in the progressive or developed countries.  Oh how we think it is so terrible for people in 3rd world countries, while many of them feel sorry for us for being so lost in "progress" that we leave behind the very essence of a human being: LOVE, which is compassion.  THEY, are strong. WE, hope we're strong.

• I wish, I hope, I will not take life or my loved ones for granted.
• I wish, I hope, I will not allow myself to look at possessions and trend keeping as a measure of personal success. 
• I wish, I hope, I will allow love, charity, compassion to define my personal success.
• I wish, I hope, you will as a reader will find the best piece of you that you can give to others and you will resolve to give of you, as you have been given.

There is a song called "Because I haven been given much" I kept hearing play in my head during my adventure.  Take the time to listen to the song and feel the love that comes from the words.  I grew up being taught these words. 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuyId4VTotA&feature=related